Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
