wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
