She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
