Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
