Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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