apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
