I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You ruined the universe
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
