I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Randomize
