You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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