I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
