I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
