now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
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