so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
