There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
