Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
