Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
No subtext here. People are naked.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
