some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Im just a social blackout drinker.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
