a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
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There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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