I love black thongs
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
