I think my fart just growled at me.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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