I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
