Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
my shit smells like andre
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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