i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I want to fling myself into the sun
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
