my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
