My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
