Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
