whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
