No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
