I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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