Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
