Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
