Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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