On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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