i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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