So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
