So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
