I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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