I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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