she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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