i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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