8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
