Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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