Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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