great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
