SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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