have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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