I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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