Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
