He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
