I'd wear matching sweaters with you
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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