i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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